i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
