You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i believe in u and ur pee
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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