people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
