i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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