Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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