awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize