don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
two words...techno handjob
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we're so committed to being not committed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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