I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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