he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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