Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
