I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
