The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
being pregnant is like rehab
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
