Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
