They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
