just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
