You smell like a Billy Joel song
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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