I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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