is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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