Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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