he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
