the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
