Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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