when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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