We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
did i walk over a car last night?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You have to summon your inner elephant
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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