Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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