Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
