Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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