I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize