omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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