im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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