so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
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Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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