She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
