may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
