garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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