You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
