i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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