Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
