I think I can smell my own vagina right now
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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