I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
