I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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