It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
