I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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