i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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