Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
