oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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