Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
