felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
sarcasm needs its own font
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You pole danced in your parka.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My dick has a subreddit
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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