He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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