With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
