If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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