the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I want a musical about memes.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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