so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
