He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
