Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
