Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
