i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
