Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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