dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
