I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
