I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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