a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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